Gotland-landet i dimman

Ibland vaknar jag och tror en lycklig stund att det är en mardröm-sedan rasar verkligheten över mig -en levande mardröm att befinna sig på denna ö ännu.Numera betraktar jag mig som politisk flykting-korruptionen smörjer hjulen med sin fjäskande olja -men för hur länge då undrar man och på väg vart?

Än så länge har jag inte mött en enda med ryggrad här på ön ,ja,nu ska jag inte vara för hård-en med en halv ryggrad i alla fall…IMG_8656.JPG

 

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*****Om Lojalitet och vilka man egentligen kan lita på ,rik som fattig,det är inte många****

 

 

 
Freddie Mercury would dominate a stage with all the force of a hurricane. But offstage an entirely different kind of man existed. All the flamboyance was replaced by someone who was very shy, suspicious of people, and guarded his privacy almost as much as the late Howard Hughes. He had a demonic sense of humour and would explode and scream when he didn’t get his own way. In fact, woe betide anyone if they dared to upset the Queen singer. Towards the end of his life, however, he surrounded himself with a small close-knit group of friends he felt he could trust. After a run of disastrous, tempestuous relationships around the world, he confided how he had felt betrayed by many of his male relationships, but had never lost his admiration for the loyalty of one woman.

That woman was Mary Austin, whom he had described in the past as the ‘love of his life’. Mary had been the rock star’s lover for six years before he decided he preferred male partners. Shortly before his death, he became anxious to provide her and her two children with some security. For this reason, he decided to leave her his most prized possession – his ‘dream home’.

Having agreed to be godfather to her eldest son Richard, now aged nine, he liked the idea of his house one day becoming a family home. Much of Freddie’s personal life was as dramatic as his stage performances. His wealth and stardom did not help with matters of the heart.

‘Love is the hardest thing to achieve and the one thing in this business that can let you down the most,’ he said. ‘I have built up an immense bond with Mary. She has gone through just about everything and always been there for me.’

Not only did Freddie leave his magnificent Georgian mansion, in London’s Kensington, to Mary, but also the bulk of his multi-million pound fortune, with an income for life from his vast record sales and publishing. The house stands behind an expansive walled Japanese garden. Freddie was particularly fond of Japanese art and had encouraged his last boyfriend Jim Hutton to create the garden, which is still filled with flowering trees and multi-coloured roses. Freddie always had a flair for style and spent a fortune transforming the house into a splendid palatial home. Even his adored five cats were of the exotic variety!

 

 

 

 

I think this interview is worth it, although there are a lot of discrepances, especially concerning the dates. Certainly David Wigg isn’t a Queen expert and he must have confused some facts and events, well-known for everyone who is acquainted at least with Queen discography. Bohemian Rhapsody couldn’t have been written before their

Mercury Left Me His Millions
Daily Mail Weekend, 22nd January 2000

 

The world was shocked when the flamboyant Freddie Mercury, who died of Aids in 1991, left the bulk of his multi-million pound fortune to a girlfriend. But for years the Queen front man and Mary Austin had lived together as man and wife and now, for the first time, the woman he loved tells DAVID WIGG how money wasn’t the star’s only legacy.

 

”When Freddie Mercury first told his former girlfriend Mary Austin that he intended to leave her his magnificent Georgian mansion in London’s Kensington, her immediate reaction was one of shock and fear. In fact, she was so terrified of taking on such an enormous responsibility that she urged him to place the house, with its beautiful collection of antique furniture and paintings, in trust as a museum.

Freddie considered this option, but decided he wanted Mary – his lover for six years before he decided he preferred male partners – to have something permanent in her life. Not only did he leave her his mansion, which stands behind a walled Japanese garden, but also the bulk of his multi-million pound fortune, with an income for life from his vast record sales and publishing.

In the year up until his death in 1991, Mary juggled looking after her son Richard, now nine, and his father, Piers Cameron, with attending to Freddie as he suffered the final stages of Aids. At the same time she was preparing for the birth of a second baby, Jamie, now eight.

Long before he told any of his close friends or the fellow members of his pop group Queen that he had Aids, he confided his secret to Mary. From that moment she was there each day to try to comfort him as he gradually became more ill. As he started to lose his sight and his body became so weak that finally he couldn’t even get out of bed, Freddie decided to face up to dying by refusing to take his medication. ‘It was Freddie’s decision to finally end it all – he chose the time to die,’ Mary recalls in a whisper. ‘He knew it was coming – that it was closer than it had ever been before. Then he suddenly said, ”I’ve decided that I’ve got to go!”‘

‘The quality of his life had changed so dramatically and he was in more and more pain every day. He was losing his sight. His body became weaker as he suffered mild fits. It was so distressing to see him deteriorating in this way. One day he decided enough was enough and stopped all the medical supplements that were keeping him going. He just turned off. The overwhelming thing for me was that he was just so incredibly brave. He looked death in the face and said, ”Fine, I’ll accept it now – I’ll go.” But it was peaceful and he died with a smile on his face.’

After his death, on November 24, 1991, Mary moved into his palatial home, but as she wandered through the huge galleries sitting rooms, surrounded by Freddie’s treasures, her feelings were of confusion and loneliness. ‘It was the loneliest and most difficult time of my life after Freddie died’, she says. I knew I was having trouble coming to terms with his death and everything he had left me. I was best left to myself in order come out of it.’

Mary – who had grown up in a modest terraced house in Fulham, West London – found there was much to cope with; the responsibility of the house and staff and suddenly coming into immense wealth. There were complications over the will and some of Freddie’s relatives and friends were annoyed that she was left so much.

‘I always had Freddie to turn to and he always had me to turn to if need be. Suddenly, there wasn’t anyone to help me. It made me realise that I wasn’t as self-sufficient as I would have liked to have been. As much as I’d been a friend to him, I realised how much a friend he’d been to me – the fact of just knowing that he was there.’

‘He was always very protective of me. I only realised after he died, quite how protective he’d been. If something happened he’d say, ”Oh darling, don’t worry we’ll get over that.” He was uplifting. At other times, when he was aware he had Aids and only had a limited time to live, there’d be the odd serious conversation when he’d say to me, ”Let’s go and sit, we don’t know how long we have.”

Mary dealt with the enormity of Freddie’s generosity by becoming more of a recluse within the secure walls of the rock star’s home. ‘I felt very much out of my depth really,’ she explains. ‘Freddie’s staff had been like family to me, but after his death most of them had left because he’d been so generous to them. I had sleepless nights worrying about everything. I felt as if I’d done something wrong and paranoia set in. Some of the fans even told me I was only the keeper of the house. That hurt. I know several of Freddie’s gay friends were surprised Freddie had left so much to me. There those who thought they should have been left the house. It was like people begrudged me having what he had left me.’

Although Freddie died in 1991, it was eight years before Mary received the bulk of his money from the will. ‘It was a worrying time,’ she says. ‘The taxman had been paid, but without the money coming through I didn’t know if I could afford to keep the house. I felt under a lot of pressure.’

In contrast to the outrageous rock idol, Mary, 48, is shy and gives the impression of lacking any real confidence in herself. Completely the opposite to flamboyant Freddie, she is petite and slim, with green eyes and fair hair. ‘I’m certainly no academic,’ she says, as one of Freddie’s exotic cats joins her on a deep, dark-red sofa in the house where nothing has been changed. Mary has kept the decor and furnishings exactly as they were when Freddie died. ‘He had impeccable style, so why change it?’ she says.

His death left a void in her life. ‘I lost somebody who I thought was my eternal love. When he died I felt we’d had a marriage. We’d lived our vows. We’d done it for better for worse, for richer for poorer. In sickness and in health. You could never had let go of Freddie unless he died. Even then it was difficult.’

The couple’s closeness had always caused difficulties for others. None of the boyfriends Mary took after she stopped living with Freddie in 1980 lasted that long. They soon came to realise that they were sharing her affections with the outrageous rock star and that special bond of loyalty and close friendship could never be penetrated by a newcomer. Even the father of Mary’s two children, painter Piers Cameron, eventually found the unusual circumstances all to much and dropped out of Mary’s life altogether. ‘He had always felt overshadowed by Freddie,’ says Mary. ‘Freddie had widened the tapestry of my life so much by introducing me to the world of ballet, opera and art. I learned so much from him and he’s given me personally so much. There was no way I would want to desert him, ever.’

As another way of keeping her close, Freddie created job for her, making her company secretary to the music and publishing businesses he ran from his home. After Freddie’s tragic death, it took Mary ages to accept that Freddie had finally gone out of her life. It was five years before she could bring herself to sleep in his enormous yellow master bedroom. Before then, she just left everything in it untouched. ‘I’d spent so long with him being unwell and there were so many memories in that room. Memories of him suffering. I just saw this very frail man laying in his bed and remembered all the little things that I used to do for him. Combing his hair, because he’d lie back and all his hair would be sticking up.’

‘During those times I did really feel such love for him. They were the moments I remembered every time I looked at his bed. I would sit every day next to the bed for six hours, whether he was awake or not. He would suddenly wake up and smile and say, ”Oh, it’s you, old faithful.”

Only Mary knows where Freddie’s ashes were finally placed. He gave her the responsibility of dealing with them and made her promise she would never reveal where they were hidden. ‘I was very neglectful over them,’ she says, openly. ‘I left them in the Chapel of Rest for a while. I knew I had this responsibility, but I couldn’t bring myself to finally part with him. I had to do it alone as he asked, and keep it a secret. That was something that didn’t encourage his family to like me any more or any less than they did.’

‘I found it all a bit spooky. They were in a plastic bag inside the urn. Afterwards I had to put everything back and bolt it together. I suddenly thought, ”I think you’ve left just a bit to much for me to do, Freddie.”

Mary was 19 when she first met Freddie. Until then her life had been deprived. Her parents were poor. Her father worked as a hand-trimmer for wallpaper specialists and her mother was a domestic for a small company. Both were deaf and communicated through sign language and lip-reading.

Mary left comprehensive school at 15 without taking her O-levels. Her first job was as a trainee secretary with Remingtons, earning £5 a week, later progressing to Customer PR at the incredibly hip Biba store in Kensington. It was while working at Biba that she met Freddie and Queen drummer, Roger Taylor, who ran a stall in nearby Kensington Market, selling old clothes and Freddie’s artwork.

Guitarist Brian May introduced Freddie and Mary, at a discussion about the group. They were trying to choose a name for themselves. Freddie wanted to call the group Queen, while Brian favoured Built Your Own Boat. ‘I remember Freddie’s massive black hair, which made him look like a cavalier, with his arm resting on the mantelpiece of Brian’s house in Barnes. He was very proud of his new white shoes. Suddenly he turned to me and asked what I thought about the names. I said, ”Oh, I think Brian’s Build Your Own Boat.” But Freddie got his own way, as he did with most things. They settled on Queen.’

Although he was quite intimidating, Mary found herself fascinated by this ‘wild-looking artistic musician’. ‘He was like no one I had ever met before. He was very confident and I have never been that confident. We grew up together. I liked him and it went on from there.’

‘It took about three years for me to really fall in love. But I had never felt that way before about anyone.’ She first shared a £10-a-week bedsit with Freddie in Victoria Road, Kensington. ‘We had so little money then that we could only afford one pair of curtains and so we hung them in the bedroom. We had to share the bathroom and kitchen with another couple.’

After two years, they moved on to a larger, self-contained flat in Holland Road, which cost then £19 a week. By then the group had signed a record deal and had their fist major hit Bohemian Rhapsody, and all the photographs for the first album were taken at that flat.

It was at a showcase held at Ealing College of Art, Freddie’s old art school, that Mary first recognised his star quality. ‘When he came off the stage all the girls and his friends were crowding round him,’ she recalls. ‘He was so busy I just thought, ”I don’t think he needs me now.” I started to walk away and he came running after me. He said ”Where are you going?” I told him, ”I’m going home.”‘

‘Things had suddenly taken a turn for him and the band. Freddie was just so good on that stage – like I had never seen before, as if it was something he’d stored up. For the first time I felt: ”Here is a star in the making. He’s on his way. I don’t think he needs me any more.” I didn’t feel tearful or upset. I was happy that it was at last happening for him because of his talent. He wouldn’t let me go. That night, I realised that I had to go along with this and be a part of it. As everything took off I was watching him flower. It was wonderful to observe. There was something about seeing that happen that was so exciting – I was so happy and proud that he wanted to be with me.’

‘I felt very safe with him. The more I got to know him, the more I loved him for himself. He had quality as a person, which I think is rare in life these days. One thing which was always constant was the love. We knew we could trust each other and we were safe with each other. We knew that we would never hurt each other on purpose.’

‘One Christmas he bought me a ring and put it in the most enormous box. We were going to see his parents for Christmas Day. I opened the box and inside was another box, and so it went on until I got to this very tiny box. When I opened it, there was this beautiful Egyptian scarab ring. It’s supposed to bring good luck. He was very sweet and quite shy about giving it to me.’

It was after they had moved to their second flat in Holland Road that Mary first started to think something was going wrong with their six-year relationship. ‘Even if I didn’t want to fully admit it, I had realised that something was going on. Although I didn’t know what it was I decided to discuss it with Freddie. I told him, ”Something is going on and I just feel like a noose around your neck. I think it’s time for me to go.” But he insisted nothing was wrong. Then his life rocketed with the success of the first album and the singles.’

‘Things were never the same after that. Our relationship cooled. I felt that he was avoiding any confrontation with me. When I came home from work he just wouldn’t be there. He would come in late. The writing was on the wall. We just weren’t as close as we had been.’

As Freddie became an international celebrity, Mary often thought that she might one day lose him to another woman – but never to a male lover. That all changed one day when Freddie told her he had something important to say, something that would change their whole relationship for ever. ‘He said, ”I think I’m bisexual.” I told him, ”I think you’re gay.” And nothing else was said. We just hugged.’

‘I thought, ”He’s been very brave.” Being a bit naive it had taken me a while to realise the truth. Afterwards he felt good about having told me. He said. ”I realised I had a choice. The choice was not to tell you, but I think you are entitled to your own life.” And I thought, ”Yes, as much as you are entitled to yours.”

She decided it was time for her to move out, but Freddie insisted that she shouldn’t move too far away from him. ‘Eventually we found a place near him, which he wanted me to have. It was perfect for a single person such as myself. His music publishing company bought it for me for £30,000. I could see Freddie’s own flat from my bathroom. I thought, ”Oh, I’m never going to get away!”‘

‘But I didn’t mind. I was very happy there. It was small, but I’m quite happy with small places. My family were very poor.’, she remembers. ‘There were five of us and my parents had a terrible time making ends meet, but they managed. Life was always a struggle for them.’

Mary’s life today is very far from such struggle. She shares her magnificent house with Nick, the 48-year-old London businessman she married two years ago. Without telling anyone, they wed on Long Island with just Mary’s two sons, Richard and Jamie, by their side. ‘I think Nick was very brave to take me on, really. I come with a lot of baggage, a huge chapter in my life. At first because of the past and the broken affairs, I wasn’t entirely sure about marriage. Then someone said, ”You don’t know until you try.”‘

‘But as life unfolds, I can now be happy with him. I can appreciate what I had and what I now have and move on. I was getting there, but I think I could only have moved on by meeting somebody.’

‘When I met Nick everything came around a lot quicker. I wanted some stability for myself and the children. I felt that this man could give us that – stability in a loving family way. I’d lost my family really when Freddie died. Even the boys that worked in the house for him were my family, but they all moved on. Freddie was everything to me, apart from my sons.’

Freddie had been as thrilled as her about the arrival of her first son and used to visit her in hospital. He taught the little boy to say his first words, ‘tractor’ and ‘guitar’.

Now Freddie’s generosity has allowed Mary to educate both her sons privately. ‘In some ways, I think there was definitely a part of Freddie that would have liked a family life, a happy home and children,’ she says. ‘I don’t know how much of a great heterosexual he would have made.’

‘I used to think originally that I’d lost him to being gay. But then if he had been totally heterosexual I think I would eventually have lost him to another woman, particularly when the fame came along. Women followed him even though they suspected he was gay.’

One of Freddie’s favourite things was giving parties. The more outrageous the better. He flew his friends to Munich for a spectacular black and white drag ball; to Ibiza for a colourful, open-air party for more than 1,000 guests; and held a hat party at his Kensington home. By this time, even though he was sharing his home with his partner, former hairdresser Jim Hutton, Mary was always invited to join in the merriment.

Freddie lived with the knowledge that he was HIV-positive for seven years. He was 45 when he died from Aids-induced bronchial pneumonia.

In the terms of his will, Mary was left a 50 per cent share of all his wealth, then estimated at around £10 million, and of future income. His parents and his sister were to receive 25 per cent each. In addition he left Jim Hutton £500,000 and bought him a plot of land on which to build a house in Jim’s home country of Ireland. He also left £500,000 each to his personal assistant Peter Freestone, and his cook Joe Fannelli, and £100,000 to Terry Giddings, his driver and bodyguard.

Mary is also a trustee of the Aids foundation set up in Freddie’s name. The Phoenix Trust, based in Montreux, Switzerland, where Queen have their own recording studios. As he was such a lively and energetic showman, I finally asked Mary whether perhaps, in a way, it was right that he wasn’t allowed to grow old.

Surprisingly, she replied: ‘No, I’d rather it happened the other way round. I should have gone first – I’d rather he miss me than I miss him.’

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*****Love of my Life******

I was cursed by Freddie’s fortune: Queen star’s lover got his millions, was cruelly attacked by jealous rivals and even abandoned by Mercury’s own band mates

By David Wigg  Copyright Daily Mail

In the days before his death, his once lithe body now  rendered extremely frail by Aids, Freddie Mercury made one final request of the woman he described as ‘the love of my life’. That she, and she alone, should collect his ashes after his cremation and dispose of them at a private location never to be disclosed.

For more than two decades Mary Austin has abided by Mercury’s wishes and kept the whereabouts of his ashes a secret. Not even his elderly parents were told.

Since the death of Queen’s flamboyant frontman, aged 45, in November 1991, speculation has been rife. Were the ashes taken to his native Zanzibar? Or buried under a cherry tree in the Japanese garden of his London mansion?

Mary Austin (right) was trusted with the location of Freddie Mercury's ashes. She has said that she will never tell anyone where they are, as was his wish

Mary Austin (right) was trusted with the location of Freddie Mercury’s ashes. She has said that she will never tell anyone where they are, as was his wish

When a plinth erected at Kensal Green cemetery in West London bearing his real name – Farrokh Bulsara – was discovered earlier this month, his legion of fans hoped their hero’s final resting place had finally been located. 

But Mary, the woman who shared much of her life with the enigmatic showman, and to whom he left his magnificent £20 million Edwardian mansion in West London as well as the bulk of his £9 million fortune, is categoric on the matter: ‘Freddie is definitely not in that cemetery,’ she says.

 

Mercury, famed as much for his excessive lifestyle as his exuberant stage persona, died from AIDS at a time when it was feared and misunderstood. Mary says that just before his death, he was terrified his resting place would be defiled: ‘He didn’t want anyone trying to dig him up as has happened to some famous people. Fans can be deeply obsessive. He wanted it to remain a secret and it will remain so.’

She kept the ashes in an urn in Freddie’s bedroom for two years and then staged an elaborate covert exercise, slipping out of the mansion alone to carry out  his last request. 

Mary was left with Mercury's millions, but has also had to deal with his legions of jealous followers

Mary was left with Mercury’s millions, but has also had to deal with his legions of jealous followers

To avoid prying eyes, she didn’t even take her driver. ‘I didn’t want anyone to suspect that I was doing anything other than what I would normally do. I said I was going for a facial. I had to be convincing. It was very hard to find the moment. 

‘One morning, I just sneaked out of the house with the urn. It had to be like a normal day so the staff wouldn’t suspect anything – because staff gossip. They just cannot resist it. But nobody will ever know where he is buried because that was his wish.’

 A few days beforehand, Mary invited Mercury’s parents to the house to say a few prayers in his memory. But not even they were told where his ashes ultimately lie.

It was an emotional and stress-filled mission for Mary, who lived with Mercury on and off for 20 years. The years since his death have been lonely. As we sit in the music room of the sprawling mansion, which still retains the stylish grandeur and flamboyant decor that Mercury demanded, the vigil by fans continues outside the property’s perimeter wall. For many of them it is a daily pilgrimage and they pause to pin up missives of undying love. 

Mary gazes through the window, smiling softly. Sinking into a plush sofa she then casts her eye around the room – taking in its stunning array of valuable antiques, art works and Louis XV furniture. ‘Why would I want to change it?’ she says. ‘It is his taste and style. It’s beautiful. His presence is everywhere.’ 

The grand piano – at which Mercury  composed many of his greatest hits  including Bohemian Rhapsody – dominates the room. On top, sit several silver-framed photographs of Mary and Mercury, in the first flush of romance, laughing lovingly together. After six years together, he came out as gay, taking a stream of lovers as his life descended into uninhibited promiscuity. But his love for Mary never waned.

That he left the bulk of his fortune to her caused deep and bitter resentment – not least among Mercury’s former band members. She says he warned her the legacy she would inherit could become a burden. ‘And he was right,’ she says, her features, still elfin at 62, forming a deep frown.

Mary at Freddie Mercury's funeral with Queen drummer Roger Taylor and Dave Clark

Mary at Freddie Mercury’s funeral with Queen drummer Roger Taylor and Dave Clark

After Freddie died she felt out of her depth. She suffered several serious illnesses and struggled emotionally to cope with the inheritance. ‘I found myself  thinking, “Oh Freddie, you’ve left me too much and too much to deal with as well.”  I felt I couldn’t live up to it. He’d warned me that the house was going to be more of a challenge than I realised. I’m grateful he did because I hit jealousy head on – like a Japanese bullet train. Very painful. 

‘I don’t think the remaining members of Queen have ever reconciled themselves to it. I don’t understand it. Because to me it’s bricks and mortar. I try never to be jealous or envy people.

Mary was left a magnificent £20million Edwardian mansion in West London

Mary was left a magnificent £20million Edwardian mansion in West London

‘Freddie was very generous to them in the last years of his life and I don’t think they embraced that generosity. I don’t think they appreciated or recognised what Freddie had left them. He left the band a quarter share of the last four albums – which he didn’t need to do. And I never hear from them. After Freddie died, they just wandered off.’

Everywhere, she confesses, there are memories of Mercury. ‘You hear a specific song and it makes you feel emotional. We lived those 20-odd years together. Under the same roof. Together emotionally.’

During that time she witnessed the thrill of Mercury proposing marriage, the heartache of losing him when he realised he was gay and the anguish of nursing him through his final days. There is one particularly powerful memory of that time that still haunts her. As his life ebbed away, Mercury watched DVD footage of his past performances. 

‘On one occasion he turned to me and said sadly, “To think I used to be so handsome.” I got up and had to leave the room,’ she recalls. ‘It was too upsetting. We were never allowed to get emotional around him and that was hard. But I knew if I sat there I would have been in tears. When I returned I just sat down as if nothing had happened. But for that moment, he caught me off guard.’

Mary was 19 when she first met Mercury in the early Seventies. Born into an impoverished family  in Battersea, South London – her father worked as a trimmer for wallpaper specialists and her mother was a domestic for a small company – her childhood wasn’t easy. Both parents were deaf and communicated through sign language and lip-reading.

Mary was a PR at the fashionable Biba store in Kensington, West London, when she encountered Mercury, then 24, at the clothes stall he and Queen drummer Roger Taylor ran in nearby Kensington market.

Initially, she found Mercury intimidating but was also fascinated by this ‘wild-looking artistic musician’. She says: ‘He was like no one I had met before. He was very confident – something I have never been. We grew together. I liked him and it went on from there.’

The pair shared a bedsit and then moved into a modest one-bedroom flat in nearby Holland Road. They were blissfully happy but hadn’t discussed a future together. ‘Then, when I was 23 he gave me a big box on Christmas Day. Inside was another box, then another and so it went on. It was like one of his playful games. Eventually, I found a lovely jade ring inside the last small box. 

‘I looked at it and was speechless. I remember thinking, “I don’t understand what’s going on.” It wasn’t what I’d expected at all. So I asked him, “Which hand should I put this on?” And he said, “Ring finger, left hand.” And then he said, “Because, will you marry me?” I was shocked. It just so wasn’t what I was expecting. I just whispered, “Yes. I will.”’

The showman proposed to Mary but, true to character, changed his mind suddenly on a whim

The showman proposed to Mary but, true to character, changed his mind suddenly on a whim

But, impulsive as ever, he changed his mind on a whim. ‘Sometime later,’ she says. ‘I spotted a wonderful antique wedding dress in a small shop. And as Freddie hadn’t said anything more about marrying, the only way that I could test the water was to say, “Is it time I bought the dress?” But he said no. He had gone off the idea and it never happened.

‘I was disappointed but I had a feeling it wasn’t going to happen. Things were getting very complicated and the atmosphere between us was changing a lot. I knew the writing was on the wall, but what writing? I wasn’t absolutely sure. 

‘I never questioned him about it. But I think he must have been starting to question himself. Getting married was probably something he wanted. But then he began to wonder if it would be fair on me.’ The revelation that Mercury was gay ended their physical relationship, but Mary has always been grateful that Freddie one day had the courage to discuss his changing sexual feelings.

 ‘If he hadn’t been such a decent human being and told me I wouldn’t be here,’ she says candidly. ‘If he had gone along living a bisexual life without telling me, I would have contracted Aids and died.’ 

Mary started to notice he was staying out later and later and thought he was having an affair with another woman. Deeply hurt, she feared their relationship was over. But one day he told her he had something important to say – something that would change their relationship forever.

Gazing down at her lap, Mary says softly: ‘I’ll never forget that moment. Being a bit naive, it had taken me a while to realise the truth. Afterwards he felt good about having finally told me he was bisexual. Although I do remember saying to him at the time, “No Freddie, I don’t think you are bisexual. I think you are gay.”’

Ultimate showman: Freddie Mercury with Queen guitarist Brian May playing guitars in front of Roger Taylor's drums in the 1980s

Freddie Mercury with Queen guitarist Brian May playing guitars in front of Roger Taylor’s drums in the 1980s

Freddie, she recalls, hugged her and told her that, whatever happened, he wanted her to always be part of his life. For a spell they settled into a routine, though unconventional life. When they threw dinner parties she would sit on one side of Mercury, his latest boyfriend on the other. 

Eventually, Mary decided to move out of their flat, and Mercury’s music company bought her a £300,000 apartment. 

Mary becomes reflective. ‘The sad thing was that if he had been more careful in his lifestyle later on, he would still be here now. With advances in modern medicine things are different now.’

As it was, Mary could only watch from the sidelines as her former lover embraced a wild chapter of his life. ‘I think Freddie reached a stage where he thought he was invincible,’ she says. ‘He convinced himself he was having a good time and maybe, in part, he was. But I think in part he wasn’t. 

A kind of magic: Freddie Mercury with his former girlfriend and lifelong friend Mary Austin

Freddie Mercury with his former girlfriend and lifelong friend Mary Austin

‘And then it was too late. The only person who could have made a difference was Freddie. But I think he’d stopped being honest with himself. Many of his so-called friends were there for the free tickets, the free booze, the free drugs, the free meal, the gossip and, of course, the expensive gifts.’

Mercury kept the nature of his illness a secret until shortly before his death. When he told her he intended to leave his beautiful  home to her, she tried to encourage him to place it in a trust. ‘He said, “If things had been different, you  would have been my wife and this would have been yours anyway.”’

Mary had two sons; Richard, who Freddie knew, and Jamie, born shortly after his death. Her relationship with their father didn’t last. In time, Mary met another man – who she married. But the marriage faltered after five years and they divorced a decade ago. 

It has always been Mercury who was the true love of her life. Her memories are never far away.

‘Freddie was fun. The only times I saw him really serious were when working on songs. The house would be totally still, but full of a quiet energy.

‘But Freddie’s personality was always there, whatever the mood. It was always moving, influencing the running of the house. It was like the volume button on the radio. There are not a lot of people who can walk into a room and there’s something they bring into it which makes it warm and genial. And then, when they leave, it goes.’ 

The true Mercury, she believes, was a complicated mixture of self-doubt and self-confidence. ‘I think Bohemian Rhapsody was the turning point. That made him realise that he didn’t need to doubt himself. Even though he was told the radio stations wouldn’t play it because it was too long, there was no way Freddie was going to cut it.’

As fans continue to flock to house where their idol lived, Mary understands their desire to know his final resting place. 

But she is aware she made a lasting promise to him. ‘I never betrayed Freddie in his lifetime,’ she says. ‘And I’ll never betray him now.’

 

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*****Gotlands sparkade f d polischef Thommy Anderberg som hukar sig mellan hyllorna på ICA Atterdags*****

Jag smet in på ICA Atterdags här i Visby för att handla lite ikväll och gjorde sedan ett uttag i bankomaten i det isande blåshålet precis utanför affären.När 500-ingen ploppade  ut så kom jag på att jag ville ha den i växel och skyndade därför mot sidingången och öppnade dörren och fann vägen blockerade av en kort men fet gubbe.Först såg han kaxig ut och tänkte insistera på att få gå ut först men så sjönk hans kroppshållning ihop och blicken plötsligt fylld av rädsla vek undan.Dottern som var med;den tjocka, fnittrade nervöst och man undrar vad hon ser för lustigt med pedofiltragedin i generation efter generation…

Eller vad det är för lustigt med att ha en sådan ynklig fegis till pappa som inte kan stå för vad han gjort och det helvete han orsakat för mig på den här nepotism ön?Typiskt är också att först blir han livrädd när han får syn på mig och minns vad han ställt till,och än värre,i hans tankar, kommer att få stå för det i högre rätt ,inom tio år .För att jag anser ,liksom alla andra med sans och vett i behåll,att alla är lika inför lagen (även om detta aldrig sker i praktiken så står det så i Svea Rikes lags teoribok).

Inte helt olikt storhetsvansinnet hos tyskarna under världskriget när de såg sig själva som herrefolket och förväntade sig att alla skulle flytta sig för dem när de kom struttande.Se bara på andra korta nazister med storhetsvansinne Hitler och Goebbels t ex ;vad fanns det väl heller för ”ariskt” eller ens vackert hos dem?Hu!

Tänk… vilken underlig känsla att som kvinnligt brottsoffer se ett sådant ynkligt uppträdande hos en kriminell f d polis.Allt ont han gjort mig då han ännu var i tjänst hösten 2006, tänk bara att vara så korkad som denne Thommy Donald Anderberg och bryta mot tystnadsplikten.Sitta och lämna ut personliga uppgifter om ett kvinnligt brottsoffer till sadistiska bögar  och pedofiler.Och för all del även till sexistfascistiska stenkorkade gärningsmän till chaufförer.

När lille mannen (han är mer än huvudet kortare än mig) insåg att hans brott mot tystnadsplikten hade avslöjats så gör han en egen utryckning till Konsum i Lärbro och spöar upp en av gärningsmännen Lars-Gunnar Ahlström för att han spridit ut uppgifter ibland dränghjonen till chaufförer på Swebus busstation här i Visby om mig hösten 2006.

Det är ju alltid trevligt när dumma personer får på nöten ,fast det blir mindre attraktivt när en snart f d polisintendent och tillika polischef gör det för att han själv kommer att få sparken pga brottet mot tystnadsplikt….Och ändå..Donald fick minsann sin feta pension liksom den förra sparkade länspolismästaren Wilen.Trots att de båda skulle ha sparkats omedelbart utan pension för sina brott i tjänsten.Och vid det här laget orsakat mig 8 års helvete på den här äckliga korrumperade ön,så det är ju inte konstigt att man blir, minst sagt, irriterad när de två minuter senare sitter och inväntar mig när jag går ut på parkeringen.De har ,liksom min kompis parkerat nära ingången och nu dröjer de sig kvar för att se vart jag tar vägen,dvs vilket fordon jag går in i.Rena stalkingen!

Minns en polis som påtalade att ”mina chefer tycker det här är rena tramset” …jomenvisst ,det är klart att en veritabel hetsjakt med direkta hatbrott såsom misshandel,olaga hot,hets mot kön falska (bevisat) angivelser  mot en enskild kvinna inte ville erkännas,särskilt när man varit med såsom Anderberg och Wilen med att starta upp den med släktingarna till gärningsmän.

Vilka djävla människor som Irene sa en gång får ses som en akkurat beskrivning av dem.

En sak som jag inte kan förstå;hur kan döttrar stötta sin pappa om de känner till övergreppen?….Man måste leva i en väldigt stor bubbla för att hålla undan sanningen för att välja den positionen med öppna ögon…

Det som är riktigt provocerande med de här personerna är hyckleriet de drar med sig överallt de går.

Det som gör ont när jag betraktar dessa pissiga fega personerna är att där sitter den stora rultan till dotter i pappas bil när hon är nere över helgen och hälsar på från Stockholm.Hon ,som bara kan fnissa när hon möter brottsoffret för familjens dumhet ,umgås med ”pappsen” ;”du gjorde rätt papsen” som hon patetiskt skrev en gång på FB.Till en ”papsen” som är en sådan  fegis att han inte ens vågar ha sitt foto på FB. Har någon av er två där i bilen någonsin skänkt en tanke om hur det är för mig att tvingas bo kvar här på ön ibland alla äckliga dränghjon till gärningsmän och de korkade bittra kärringarna till dessa?

Har ”papsen” och du ens tänkt tanken på att mina äldre föräldrar behöver mig i storstaden?Och på hur ”papsen” effektivt (hitintills) försökt fixa åtalseftergift åt sig själv genom att vittna och därmed sett till att jag ska sitta tio är här på ön och ruttna?Och vilket vittnesmål sen…Återanställda gärningsmän;sadister (mestadels bögar)och medlöpare och andra gärningsmän (och en och annan kärring ) som kan fortsätta att ägna sig åt sin favoritsysselsättning;Skvaller och ofredanden ;försöka leva genom andras liv i brist på eget och dagliga ofredanden….

 

Jag har aldrig frusit så mycket som jag gjort sedan jag flyttade till denna ö;isiga vindar havsregn som driver in med tung dimma som gör luften rå och tung att andas.Och aldrig har jag känt en sådan iskyla kring hjärtat som här- ön där mången folk ler mot varandra och pratar som om de bryr sig, och ändå hinner de knappt byta ut det där soliga leendet ,när de vänder sig bort ,för att le i mjugg och svärta ned dig innan du ens har hunnit vända bort blicken från deras ansikten.Aldrig har jag stött på ,såsom hos många här; en sådan rå oförställd skadeglädje parad med bitterheten över förlorade liv och  hatet de när i barmen ;som om någon skulle kunna rå för deras livsval och tillkortakommanden…..

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Haters… misslyckade ”musiker” posörer och alla smilande hycklare på denna ö-en version till för er…

 

 

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*****Queen*****

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Till alla fega kvinnohatare här på ön Gotland

Eftersom grupptrycket har ökat igen mot mig nu p g a att jag påtalar det sinnesjuka i det jag råkat ut för här på ön och hur sinneslött det hanterats så vill jag inte försitta denna chans att peka på det uppenbara.Ni alla som deltagit och ännu deltar i hetsjakten mot mig, och alla ni som tigit och flinat bakom min rygg, sådana som er fanns det gott om under nazitiden;medlöpare;ni är lika medskyldiga som de sadistiska sexistfascistiska gärningsmännen…
Och till er bittra kärringar som deltagit i hetsjakten mot en enskild kvinna ,och som till och med försvarat/skyddar pedofiler ;inte minst de sadistiska bögar som förgripit sig på bl a på sin egen bebisflicka; för er finns ett särskilt helvete när den dagen kommer…

Inte minst gäller detta de kärringar som skyddat sina gubbar att stå för vad de gjort (och vad vet ni egentligen om grymheterna de gjort?)…

Hur blåsta är en del kvinnor?…Det är frågan idag…

Anställda statstjänstemän som legaliserar sadistiska bögars och pedofilers övergrepp (inte minst inom den egna kären (om just nu denna är en f d höjdare inom kåren här)
Vad är ni för varelser?….Hur kan ni sova om natten?

Sist men inte minst ; minns ni fegisen(den misslyckade musikern) som inte ville svara på frågor och som försökte springa och gömma sig bakom sina små barn så att dottern skämdes för honom?…
Ja detta gäller förresten också för en som kallar sig Blond med fyra gula testar som hänger och flänger i vinden ;kapa dem så matchar det kalfjället ok?..Skulle också kunna kommentera det tredje freaket i samma krets med sin 80-tals frissa ;en blandning av vit färgburk och pudelkrull, men hey!; ni vet ju redan vid anblicken av era nunor i spegeln fulheten och att en träskalle är en träskalle är en träskalle, hur gärna han/ni än skulle vilja vara något annat så syns den grå själen i ansiktets fulhet och dumheten lyser igenom den tomma blicken.Kort sagt; mediokra sinnen blir aldrig artister och jag kan bara inte motstå att låta er insupa talang och genuitet….närvaro …som fattas er i livet kommer aldrig att synas i era patetiska försök till rock*n*roll…
Kanske denna show får era ölindränkta hjärnor att inse att bäst att stanna på eubidragskolans vaktmästarpost och brumm brumm styrelsen och på flickvännens föräldragård….
Livet utanför byn Gotland…

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